Into The Unknown

My everyday looks a little different nowadays. Just a few short months ago my everyday meant waking early in the morning, catching a bus with one of the my school families and going to school together. After arriving at school, I was met with many hugs and smiles from my co-workers, students and the students’ families. My everyday meant speaking constantly to my students and singing with them at the top of my lungs about Jesus’ love for us until my voice was practically gone. My everyday was full of movement, running around and endless laughter with my students and the community at my school. There was not a day that went by that i didn’t hear students calling my name, “Miss Andress!”

Now, my everyday is completely different. Instead of being greeted with a great big hug and kiss by my students, I get a sweet message on my computer or phone. Now, my former constant crazy and busy schedule of running around to see my students or meet with families at the beach looks more like FaceTime calls. Now, my everyday means staying home and being intentional with my community from my home. 

My everyday is completely different than what it was. Teaching now takes on a whole new meaning for me as I do it to the best of my ability virtually. I have learned many things about myself in this season of uncertainty, but the thing I learned the most was my desire for control.

I think it’s safe to say, as human beings, we like to have as much knowledge as we can about things or situations. For instance, in the workplace, we need to know exactly what we are doing and how we can do it well. As a teacher, I found so much comfort in knowing what my basic day-to-day schedule would look like. I knew exactly what time I needed to be at the school. I knew the time of arrival of my students and what it is I would be teaching them daily. Granted, there were many things that were uncertain but I did have a general routine and understanding of what my days would look like.

It is not a bad thing to have the desire to know or understand. But here’s the thing, we are not all knowing beings and were never designed to be. We are in a time now of complete uncertainty. I don’t know the next time I will step foot in my classroom. I don’t know when I will be able to wrap my arms around my students neck. I don’t know when I will be able to play volleyball on the beach with my students and their families. I don’t know if I will be able to ride the bus to school again. I don’t know if I will be able to see all of my students for the last time before the school year is over. There are so many unknowns, but that is alright. I am learning that I don’t know what is next and maybe that is the way God has intended it. Maybe the Lord has allowed all of us to go through this season of uncertainty to lean in and trust Him, the all knowing, the one who knows our first and last. 

While this season of unknown has been very challenging and even isolating at times, it has also been refreshing to be still; to rest and know that He is God and He knows. He has a path and a way set before me; I need only to step aside and release my desire to be in control so that He can continue to work in and through me.

– Philem Andress, GEM Missionary

If you’d like to support Philem as she serves with GEM in Mexico, you can do so HERE. You can also contact her directly to talk further about what it means to be on her support team and find out how you can be praying for her!